Say Hello….

Carol PlumridgeThoughts

I walk regularly, mostly a quick trot around the village in the morning. I usually go early and the time I go will dictate who I see. 7am or before (not often 🙂 ) practically no-one, after 8am dog walkers and the early visitors to the local shop. 
There are several regular walkers like myself who don’t have dogs and I am conducting a little experiment with two walkers I see on a semi regular basis. Both men of a certain age and both very intent on walking. One of whom barely looks up as we pass each other. So I am determined to engage them, not in conversation necessarily, but to get an acknowledgment. A recognition of another human being engaged in the same activity.

I have had some success with one of them, something happened in the street (cannot remember what exactly) and we both stopped in the vicinity of each other. A couple of sentences were exchanged and we went our separate ways. We neither of us detained the other and for me at least, my day was enhanced a little by the connection. Subsequently, if I see him we definitely greet each other a little more familiarly and that feels good.
The other chap is proving a little more resistant; to be fair I don’t see him as often and he is focussed on his task. But I keep saying hello, on the basis that water eventually makes an impression on a rock.

I am now widening my endeavours; I have two target populations sometimes this comes together in one person. Location: Usually, people serving in shops; Population; younger workers and or individuals who serve you without engaging with you. The less they engage the harder I work; but with a real sense of humour and lightness of touch (I hope).
Had a real success with a rather fed up till operator in Morrisons. I had observed her lack of interaction with the previous two customers, so I was quietly determined to engage her. I asked her how her day was going and whether she enjoyed her job? Got a small response, was she permanently employed there? Much bigger response absolutely not; summer job, she was at university. I continued packing my goods and paid her, then she said ‘I really like your earrings’ 

Bingo! result.  
I would like to think both of our days improved a little after that. 

Had a middling result with young man in Richer Sounds in Bath, he chatted a lot about his life, partner and dreams of buying a house. But at no point did he make eye contact. Interesting.
Work in progress; one of the ladies in the coffee shop at Chippenham station, no eye contact, huffy attitude, real sense of customers are a total pain. 

Fortunately I love a challenge. 

I believe that people love to be noticed and even more to have another human beings interest feels wonderful. I would add the caveat that it has to be a sincere interest with no other agenda than curiosity. My first intent is to listen to them, not necessarily tell them something about me. I believe people will pick up your intent and a kind curiosity feels good.

The bonus works both ways, when someone offers me a little part of themselves I feel like a trustworthy person, a safe pair of hands. I feel wonderful and it  helps me to remember that we are all human and have more in common than we think.

Try it, it’s great fun.