Generally how do see the world? Do you feel like you are working really hard and not reaping the rewards? Do other people seem to have it easy or attract good luck or seem to do well without much effort? Everywhere you look do you see struggles?
How you view the world is directly in relation to how you view yourself.
It’s a like closing your eyes and thinking about blue, when you open your eyes again all you will see is blue.
When we have a reaction to something, either love or hate, it is because it chimes with something inside of us like an internal bell.If we didn’t have that particular internal bell we wouldn’t react. The stronger the reaction you have the more it is hitting your core beliefs.
Often we don’t recognise this because it is part of who we are, a bit like our inner wallpaper. We are so used to our own landscape that we don’t think about it, question it or wonder about it.
Occasionally we will meet someone who, for example is having difficulty with something and we see how they are thinking about it or managing it. On hearing them you may think, “they don’t seem worried about it, I would be”. It starts to show you that we all think differently about things and respond in various ways.
These values and deeply held beliefs grow and develop with us. They are a product of upbringing i.e. your parent’s attitudes and beliefs, religious influences, schooling, friendship groups, things that have happened to us along the way. As we grow up and become autonomous we have choices about what we believe is true about ourselves. This is partly what makes teenage years so difficult; you are like a butterfly emerging from your chrysalis, trying your wings, seeing who and what kind of butterfly you are. Your parents see this and they realize that you are changing from the young child that they know. This may agitate all sorts of things in them and it can lead to conflict. They may have dreams and ambitions for you that are not part of your plan. They will want the best for you (hopefully) but it will be tied up with their wishes and maybe unfulfilled dreams of their own.
Depending on your character you may bow to their thoughts or you may do what you want, hopefully it will be a middle way.
Today another major influence is the media, telling us subtly and not so subtly what we ‘should’ think and feel, also how we ‘should’ live our lives, what our values ‘should’ be.
Watch out for the shoulds and oughts both in what you are being told and also in your thoughts. They are words that often go hand in hand with being critical or blaming, neither of which states are helpful to your well-being.
Begin to notice how you respond to the world around you, especially when you have a really strong reaction to something, as this is really hitting your core beliefs. Be curious and interested as the lens through which we view the world is ourselves and what we think about it all says more about us than anyone else. Remember Gandhi’s wise words because external change starts inside.
“Be the change you want to see in the world”