Growing Pains
How many of you have had children who have been given the fairly unscientific diagnosis of growing pains? A fair proportion of you I would imagine.
Non-specific aches that don’t really seem to be connected to anything (other than wanting a day off school!)
I started to consider growing pains mainly because I had an attack of global achyness last week. It was as if the achy fairy had visited in the night. Actually it was almost certainly triggered by too enthusiastic strength training 2 days on the trot. I also noticed what helped me stop feeling achy; I did stop the strength training for a few days, although I did keep walking and going to yoga.I recognised I was pretty tired and feeling a bit grumpy. I went out for a walk one morning not in a good frame of mind and was completely transfixed by a tree covered in the most delicate green/yellow blossom (glimmer). I was literally stopped in my tracks but felt a lot better for seeing it. Another unexpected pain reliever was listening to a Chopin piano piece on the radio whilst driving into work. It was so beautiful and I think I was flooded with feel good chemicals and again pain relief.
I had a good day at work and felt much better and hadn’t had to resort to pain killers.
I began to wonder about pain at various times of life, in childhood, during pregnancy/labour, maybe headaches and stiff necks in times of stress, new job, house move, divorce, marriage and also into older age. When we are transitioning and potentially growing in some way. We are in that liminal space where the future is a bit of a mystery.
Both exciting and scary.
We probably don’t see divorce or older age as growth. Consider the freedom and opportunity with divorce, coming away from a situation that makes you unhappy. Or with older age the reduction of responsibility, you may not have to work anymore, the children have left home (hopefully), the mortgage maybe paid. Our bodies may have something to say about it too, so maybe the pains.
One thing about pain is it is salient, designed to be noticed, it may be trying to help you really observe what is going on for you at this time.
What brings you joy, what doesn’t?
It maybe an idea to have a conversation with your pain, ask it “why are you here now and what do you have to say to me”? In a spirit of curiosity and interest not shouting and getting huffy. Spend a bit of time quietly noticing and question what do I want and need?
How often do we do this? Rarely.
If our body hurts us our reaction is often .impatience and annoyance. It’s so inconvenient the pain gets in the way, try being kind. I am often shocked at how people talk about themselves, speaking to themselves in a way they would never speak to a friend or family member.
Remember KIST kind internal self talk (yes Martha Beck again!) it really helps. Also to quote Take That:
Have a little Patience!