Drawing on Art

This month I was lucky enough to go to the south of France for a 6 day art course. Our main focus (apart from eating) was lino cutting. The picture is some of our efforts, mine is middle bottom row. This illustrates something about my relationship with drawing. 
It’s always uneasy and a bit of a trauma and has been since an encounter with a grumpy teacher at the age of 5. So it’s been going on a while! My long held belief is 

“I cannot draw”. 

Faced with a situation where drawing is required and being amongst skilled artists is a tad tricky. I also hate people being kind about my efforts, I really brush it off and get quite elbows out. Last Saturday I went on a colour workshop, I am a glutton for punishment. Colour is my ‘thing’ in relationship to art, our teacher Cathy Pearce is fantastic.  
We spent a day learning about colour and messing about blending pastels and making different colours. Learning how colour works and the different relationships colours have with each other.
I came home in a totally different head space, because I had been in a flow state. Completely absorbed and interested, knowing Cathy had everything in hand, pitched at the right level and no drawing. 
I still have coaching sessions as I am finishing off my coaching certification. So I have spent two sessions on “I cannot draw” what a revelation! 

For me it comes down to structure and protection around vulnerability. 

While I was in France I was surrounded by creatives two of whom decided to busk around France when they left college, could they busk? No, not really, but it didn’t stop them. I by contrast went to college, then went to work in a very structured industry. It has served me well and I am more comfortable with structure because I feel safer with it. 
But like a seed with a tough outer casing and all that possibility for growth inside something is stirring. I have become curious about what is inside and want to see what (if anything) I can do regarding artistic pursuits. When I tap into just messing about with colour it makes me happy. My critical, inner grumpy teacher retreats a bit and gives me some space. This is a great starting point and I know that cutting myself a bit of slack will bleed into other areas of life. The trick, I think, is to channel the curiosity in a mindful way. I have no goal or endpoint other than to see what happens and enjoy the process.

 I hope I won’t be too judgemental with myself.

I am beginning to recognise the feeling of tension that comes with being judgy and the relaxation that comes with flow.

I have booked onto several still life classes with Cathy in November and I am going to approach them with interest and curiosity and just see what transpires.

I’ll keep you posted

Cathy is a fabulous artist and teacher here is her website https://www.cathypearce.co.uk